The Right-Wing and ‘Barbie’ Rivalry: Who is at wrong?
Looks like Barbie is raking in more dough than a bakery on a sugar rush at the box office! Barbie’s marketing strategy was as sharp as her fashion sense, with the “Barbenheimer” joke leading the charge. The movie’s global launch raked in a whopping $356.3M, leaving Barbie’s bank account blushing with delight. And it seems like everyone was tickled pink, as excited viewers donned their rosiest attire. Critics and fans alike couldn’t resist giving the movie a fabulous 90% score on Rotten Tomatoes. Barbie truly knows how to make a stylish entrance!
Ah, the right-wing culture warriors, forever finding new and creative ways to be horribly insulted by Barbie. Prepare to have your monocle drop in astonishment and your top hat fly off in sheer horror, for there exists a cinematic masterpiece that has left the masses in a state of utter bewilderment! Picture this: Margot Robbie, the epitome of talent and beauty, graces the silver screen in a film that explores the depths of feminist ideals. But wait, there’s more! Greta Gerwig, the visionary director extraordinaire, takes the helm of this groundbreaking creation. Oh, the scandal! The world simply cannot fathom such a mind-boggling combination of genius and empowerment.
Ah, it seems that those who are anti-woke have developed quite the knack for critiquing any and all famous cultural events. Quite the talent, I must say! Ah, the Super Mario Bros. movie, a true chameleon of opinions. It seems some brave souls attempted to label it as “woke,” only to swiftly perform a mental pirouette and dub it “anti-woke.” Quite the acrobatics of perception, wouldn’t you say?
Barbie, the iconic doll, has a few subtle feminist critiques up her perfectly molded sleeve. In the enchanting realm of Barbieworld, the Kens initially face a rather lopsided treatment from the Barbies. However, as the curtains draw to a close, a delightful twist unfolds — the Kens find themselves basking in the same glorious treatment as their Barbie counterparts. This delightful tale mirrors the remarkable journey of women’s rights, showcasing the triumph of equality in the most charming of ways.
Ah, Ben Shapiro, the master of conservative critique, never fails to unleash his mighty opinions on the topic of girl power in pop culture. His epic tirade on Cardi B’s WAP has become the stuff of online folklore, and Shapiro reluctantly found himself in the midst of Barbie’s grand debut, claiming his team “forcefully escorted” him to witness the cinematic masterpiece.
Shapiro couldn’t resist the urge to strike a pose in the movie theater lobby, sporting a face that could make even a sad clown jealous. Armed with a notepad that was probably bursting with his razor-sharp critiques of Barbie, he was ready to unleash his intellectual firepower. The photo wasted no time in becoming the life of the meme party.
Shapiro decided to showcase his fiery critique of Barbie by treating us to a 43-minute spectacle on YouTube. In this scorching performance, he ingeniously stages a fiery encounter between Barbie and Ken dolls, leaving us all burning with anticipation for his scathing analysis. He was often likened to Sid from Toy Story, the aspiring toy percussionist who had a knack for giving his toys an unexpected drum solo.
Shapiro’s viral video clip showcased his hilarious dismay over a Barbie, portrayed by the talented trans actor Hari Nef, having a voice deeper than his own. It quickly captivated the attention of 1.2 million amused viewers. Commentators were like, “Whoa, Shapiro, projecting much? Looks like someone’s got a fear factory going on in that clip!”
In a classic case of “fighting fire with fire,” Shapiro decided to take on his online critics on Twitter. Little did he know that this bold move would only fan the flames of mockery, leaving him in a rather toasty situation.
Move over, Shakespeare, because Ginger Gaetz has just penned the most scathing review of Barbie that Twitter has ever seen! Ginger Gaetz, the wordsmith extraordinaire, penned:
Ah, the Barbie of yesteryear, a tiny titan of limitless possibilities, gracefully juggling careers and championing the cause of female empowerment. Ah, the 2023 Barbie movie, where religion and family take a backseat, and the notion of men and women working harmoniously is as rare as finding a unicorn at a coffee shop. How delightfully unconventional!
Gaetz hilariously quipped that Ken, the flamboyantly vibrant plastic companion of Barbie, seemed to have “T levels that were more deflated than a punctured balloon animal.”
The Critical Drinker, a YouTuber who’s not exactly a fan of the “woke” movement, graced us with a review of Barbie that was as exaggerated as a fisherman’s tale. He took misandry to new heights, making it seem like Barbie was leading a secret army of man-hating dolls. The Drinker, in a moment of concern, expresses her fear that the movie might have a detrimental impact on the impressionable minds of young girls.
It seems like the “anti-woke” right-wingers have taken a page out of the “social justice warriors” playbook, becoming what they once despised. It’s like a match made in online cultural commentary heaven, where pearl-clutching reviews and flimsy media analysis reign supreme, focusing solely on finding problems rather than offering any real insights.
Ah, the right-wing “culture warriors” have always been convinced that the masses simply can’t stomach media that dares to embrace progressive ideals. How quaint. Ah, the age-old adage: “Embrace social consciousness, face financial distress.”
Well, it seems Barbie has proven to be quite the box office sensation. Perhaps it’s time to update that motto, don’t you think?
